Happy November 1st friends! October is officially over and the holidays are just around the corner. Today, I had my very first Christmas encounter when I went into Drybar and they were playing Elf. Already?! Halloween was just yesterday! But is seems as if everyone has moved on quickly.
Besides me. I’d like to talk about Halloween and age gaps.
This post is for all of the older men out there who have chosen to fall in love with a younger woman. I have a piece of advice.
Don’t take yourself seriously.
I mean this in the least flippant way possible. You are dating a younger woman for a reason. Hopefully, she keeps you young and vibrant. So when the time comes where you have the opportunity to have a little fun, take it. Don’t be nervous. Or care what other people think. Let that shit go and be playful.
I can always tell when Brandon is nervous that our age gap is going to show. It doesn’t happen often but I saw it this week when we were at the costume store. We LOVE dressing up for Halloween and always find matching outfits that are a little more sexy than what I’d normally go out in. We find a cool party where everyone dresses just like us and they’re usually strangers so, what the hell. We just go for it.
This year was a bit different. Instead of going to a nightclub, we went to a neighborhood Halloween party with friends. No sexy nurse costumes this time around. We needed to find something a more more… appropriate.
Not having done any research ahead of time, we walked into the Spirit Halloween store and the first costumes I picked up were the PB&J outfits.
Brandon immediately said no. No way. Not happening.
I kinda knew that he was not going to be into them ahead of time, but the store was fairly picked over and it seemed like a decent option. When he said no, I was a little irked. I knew he didn’t like them because it would make him look…young. But not in a good way. More of a “silly” young. A “you need to grow up” young. It’s actually hard to describe but, without calling and asking him, it’s suffice to say that as an older guy with a younger girl, you want to maintain a respectable demeanor. Not look like a fool.
We proceeded to look for other costumes and found nothing. After 45 minutes, I circled back to PB&J and said, “this is as good as it gets. Will you look silly with me?”
That’s all it took. Brandon looked at me for 10 seconds and said “I’m in.”
THIS is why I love this man. In moments where he could get wrapped up in other people’s opinions, he chooses not to care. He chooses not to take himself too seriously. And it’s not easy sometimes. He would have preferred to dress up as something cool. A cop. A firefighter. A goblin. You know, something a bit more masculine. But he didn’t let that stop him from going with the flow and being a bit more silly.
He kept his costume on the entire night and rocked it. Granted – he didn’t put it on until the very last second and took it off as soon as we left. But he never once complained and even got a little excited when he saw how excited I was.
Was he as pumped as I was to rock these costumes? No. Of course not. But he was such a good sport and made it fun.
In relationships, it can be so easy to rob your partner’s joy when you feel uncomfortable. I’m sure you’ve experienced this too. Your ideas gets poo-pooed, not because it’s not a good idea, but because the other person feels insecure and doesn’t want to be apart of it. These kinds of relationships are toxic. These kinds of people are toxic. Never settle for someone who steals your joy. Whether they’re family, friends, or significant others. Run far away from them.
Now you might be thinking, “what’s the big deal? It’s a stupid Halloween costume?” Fair enough. It’s a small thing. But the small things are what create the resentment creep. The small things give way to the big things. It’s these small things that remind me that I have found my match. Someone who lets me be me and consistently lets go of his comfort in order to never steal my joy. I’ve found the peanut butter to my jelly.
Ah. I just threw up a bit from how cliche that was. Sorry guys. I couldn’t help myself.
I hope you had a fun Halloween❤️
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